Believe in something. Even if it means sacrificing everything.

     I’m sure you all know of or have seen the new controversial Nike ad from which I got the title of this post. If not: there’s a Nike Ad, it’s controversial, I quoted it in the title of this post. Ok anyway, tonight my beliefs cost me the nonprofit I helped pilot and that will go down as a painful lesson learned in my personal history. I do not regret holding to my beliefs or the work I put in to make survivors look and feel as wonderful as they are, I wouldn’t change a thing. Though my feelings are hurt and I am sad I won’t be apart of it’s growth I am at peace with the fact that I created something amazing and will not be bullied into compromising my beliefs. I have asked my entire life to not be judged by others for things out of my control and I refuse to judge others for the same. I believe if you give someone your word you should hold to that promise. I believe that respect and titles should be earned not just given. I also believe that what is best for the people as a whole is more important than what a small privileged few want. I promised the survivors that I asked to support our dream that I would fight for them. I promised I would try my damnedest to make sure their voices were heard. I kept my promise. I promised those I asked to join my fight that I would do all in my power to make certain we followed our original dream and mission. I kept my promise. I promised we would be different. I failed. I trusted the wrong people and let us all down for that I am truly sorry.
     I thought we were going there I really did but somewhere from the time we made amazing things happen to today believing in something and working hard to make it happen became less important than social status. Obviously peoples beliefs were not what they appeared to be. Somehow I missed the signs. I’m sorry. I know an apology does not fix things. I know it can not right the wrongs that have been done. Even if I am not the one who hurt you I still offer you my apologies for the pain. It has all been one very big learning curve and a lot of people have been hurt. I know it was not the grassroots intentions. I guess I just got so caught up fueling the fire of the passion in my soul I didn’t see the knife slash the fuel line. I lost my connection with the engine. You can’t cut others down to build yourself up. I can only hope I’m not the only one learning valuable lessons from this. We all are works in progress.
     I haven’t lost hope. I will still make the world a better place just differently. I won’t let the actions of others change who I am. I hold no grudge. A grudge would hurt only me. My dream is still alive. I have too many amazing people who believe in me to go down and  give up over this. I have hope and as I’ve been told I’m only twenty-three.
     At twenty three I learned believing in something could cost you everything. But at sixteen I learned you have to lose it all to figure out how resilient you can be. Welcome to the world of cancer it’s one giant heartbreaking life lesson with a million twists and turns and dead ends too. It’ll knock you flat on your butt but you have to be willing to get back up and keep trying. It’s called determination. You have to be determined to hold on to hope. Hope and perseverance will get you through this. At least, that’s what I tell myself but what do I know I’m just a twenty-three year old that believed in something when no one else would and made a dream become reality. Next up on the blog: Different isn’t Weird.

TTYS,

Aleena